Encouragements for Parents of Prodigals

Parenting is not for the faint of heart. The Bible contains much material relevant to parenting, not only because life contains parenting, but also because God knows that we need his help and wisdom as we parent. There are profound joys to be found in being a mom or a dad (Psalm 127:3). But there are also profound heartaches at times. Sometimes these seasons of disappointment are owing to our own shortcomings as parents. Perhaps we have exasperated our kids, leading them to push back painfully on us (Ephesians 6:4). Sometimes these seasons are owing to the simple reality that as our kids grow older, they are naturally learning and discovering what is expected of them. We don’t want to confuse rebellion with a natural desire to grow and experience new things.

But then sometimes heartache is experienced because a child – especially as they grow older and become more independent – has gone wayward. He or she is making poor choices, has rejected the faith of parents, and is making shipwreck of their life. All of this, despite the honest and patient attempts of parents to be compassionate and understanding. What is a parent to do then? What is the basis for hope moving forward?

No one biblical passage says everything that could possibly be said (which is why the whole counsel of Scripture is important), but Luke 15:11-32 comes close. This is the parable of the so-called prodigal son (though it may be more accurate to say prodigal sons), and this parable is seemingly unending in terms of treasures to mine and meditate on when it comes to savoring the goodness of the heart of God. Below are several wonderful implications of this parable.

1. The broader context of this parable is that of Jesus sitting down with tax collectors and sinners – the refuse of society, at least when it came to the perception of the religious scribes and Pharisees (Luke 15:1-2) Who Jesus was associating with was not “polite society.” He was acting out his own words in John 3:17 – “God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.” God did this. God cares for the world, including wayward children.

2. This parable is the third of three parables in Luke 15. In every one, there is something/someone who is lost. And in each case, there is great celebration over the thing/person found. God is glad – not begrudging – when any person (this includes wayward children) is found.

3. In all three parables of Luke 15, there is no focus on any guilt or negativity on the person involved in the “losing” (the shepherd, the woman, and the father). The point here isn’t on the quality of parenting (or lack thereof). Obviously there are times when “losing” something happens due to negligence. But clearly that’s not the case with these parables told by Jesus. The loss of a sheep, a coin, or a son is no indictment on the “owner.” The father in the parable of the prodigal son is intended to represent God the Father. No one in all of history has been a better parent, and yet one of the Bible’s primary themes is the reality of God’s wayward children (humanity in general and Israel in particular). Incidentally, this also means that when you grieve over the hard-heartedness of your child, you are in good company. The Maker of the world also grieves when the people he loves walk away from him.

4. The prodigal son experiences a change of heart at the lowest point of his misery. Spiritual awakenings can and do often occur when we least expect them. The prodigal son had left on the worst terms possible, essentially wishing his father dead (he had asked for his inheritance, something not usually received until the father died). This son was not ambiguous in his intentions; he wholeheartedly turned his back on his father.

As an additional example, consider the thief on the cross who experienced eleventh-hour conversion. He put his trust in Christ, and then he died that very day (Luke 23:43). Two things are worth noting:

• Of all the times to ever place saving faith in Jesus, this might have been the least likely occasion to do so. Jesus’s ravaged body was stretched out on the cross, his life slowly ebbing away. He had no intention of calling down angels to rescue him. It seemed as if Rome and Jerusalem had conspired, under the direct influence of Satan, to kill the King for good. There was nothing that looked like power or royalty in Jesus at this moment. And yet, this thief was saved at this hour.
• Consider this thief’s family. If there were any surviving parents, siblings, children, or other extended family watching that day from a distance, they very well may never have known of the conversation that took place that day between this man and Jesus. For any of them who were God-followers, that day ended with the profoundest sort of grief. Heaven held the most wonderfully shocking surprise for them when they crossed to the other side of eternity.

5. The dad runs to greet his son. Don’t miss this. We’re looking at the heart of God, the God who loves our kids – little or all grown up – infinitely more than we do. The verbs in this passage are stunning and full of wonder for us (verse 20). The father saw, felt, ran, embraced, and kissed. The effect of this is that God’s heart makes our own hearts tender and more able to demonstrate affection.

6. The fundamental change in the son is described as being from death to life (verse 24). The dad didn’t minimize the prior condition of his son. He had been spiritually dead, and now he was alive. Don’t ever think, “My child can’t change. There’s no hope here.”

Remember also the older brother, who represented the Pharisees and scribes that thought their relationship with God was based on their own righteousness. Were there times Jesus spoke hard words to them? Absolutely. But don’t miss how Jesus illustrates God the Father’s disposition even to them. Not because of the elder son’s anger, but in spite of it, the dad in the parable went out to the older son and “entreated” (i.e., begged) him to join the family. Both of his sons were prodigals, albeit in different ways. But the heart of the father was the same towards them both. Our heavenly Father’s heart yearns for our kids more than we do, even when they are hard-hearted and bitter like the elder brother.