Parenting Prodigals

The Situations

• The cultural climate and peer pressure make it challenging for those raised in the church to remain in it throughout adulthood.
• If you have a child who walks away from church involvement or biblical behavior, the enemy wants to isolate and shame you.
• You are not fully responsible if your child loves Jesus passionately.
• You are not fully responsible if your child rejects Jesus defiantly.
• Never give up hope that God can still work in your family member’s life.

The Scriptures

• Eli’s Sinful Sons (1 Samuel 2:12-24; 3:11-14)
  • When Eli’s sons disobeyed their calling, he kept warning them and discipling another.
  • While a family’s reputation should be protected, more importantly, focus on your child’s relationship with God.
• Jesus’ Prodigal Parable (Luke 15:11-32)
  • The father didn’t drag the son out of the pigpen; he had to hit rock bottom first.
  • Once genuine repentance took place, the father welcomed his son back wholeheartedly.
  • Anticipate a celebration for a wayward child, but don’t enable them in such a way that delays it.
• Parents’ Intentional Example (Deuteronomy 6:4-9)
  • God’s Plan A for children is for parents to model and instruct a love for the LORD intentionally.
  • Some of the best instructional moments will feel “along the way” to your children.
  • Your home needs to be an unmistakable environment of God’s presence.
• Early Childhood Instruction (Proverbs 22:6)
  • Training a child includes verbal instruction and a genuine example.
  • Ensure that what you teach is a way to go rather than just a box to check.
  • Always remember that what you invested is still present in your child’s memory.
• A Father’s Important Contribution (Colossians 3:21)
  • While both parents must be intentional about a child’s discipleship, never neglect the power of a father’s leadership.
  • There is a delicate balance between pushing toward and pushing away from Christ.
  • Your method of teaching should give courage rather than take it away.

The Steps

Pray

• Don’t stop praying for your child’s spiritual transformation.
• God desires your child to be close to Him even more than you do.

Acknowledge

• If your actions or example have complicated your child’s spiritual development, acknowledge it to your child.
• Share with your child what you wish you could go back and do differently.

Repair

• Do what you can to repair the relationship with your child if it is strained.
• Don’t enable their bad behavior, and don’t excuse yours.

Explain

• If their decisions are unacceptable in your and God’s eyes, explain why from Scripture.
• Remember that in confrontation, it is important what you say and how you say it.

Nurture

• To avoid relational drift, continue to nurture your relationship with your child.
• Consider the rhythms and methods to stay connected.

Testify

• To avoid being preachy to your child, simply testify how you are growing.
• Your child can resort to arguments, but he or she cannot argue with results.