When Wrestling with Assurance of Salvation

Many Christians have encountered seasons – perhaps even extended seasons – of doubt regarding assurance of salvation. These seasons can range from “annoying background distraction” to “all-consuming joy-robber.” Below are considerations regarding gospel-centered truth and beauty that may help serve as an anchor in such times.

First, Remember the heart and promises of Christ towards those who want him, including those whose faith feels weak. Jesus says in John 6:37, “All that the Father has given me will come to me, and I will never reject them.” Do you wonder if you truly belong to Jesus? The way to answer that question is through another question: do you want him? If the answer is yes, then John 6:37 is for you.

Matthew 28 is likely most-known for the so-called Great Commission in verses 19-20. “Go and make disciples of all the nations….” But have you ever noticed the verses that precede this? Verses 16-17 say, “Then the eleven disciples left for Galilee, going to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him—but some of them doubted!” Matthew doesn’t go into specific detail about what constituted the doubts of some of these disciples, and perhaps that is for our good—personality dispositions, prior experiences, and various hopes and expectations can all combine to make any Christian’s faith feel shaky at one point or another. If you consider all that these eleven disciples had endured, it should strike us as perfectly normal that their faith wavered. And yet, Jesus kindly entrusted the Great Commission to them (and to us). This tells us something about the tenderness of God towards us weak humans.

Jesus’s own brother, Jude, says, “And you must show mercy to those whose faith is wavering.” (Jude 22) Clearly, there seems to be a general theme of mercy in the face of doubt to those who truly do want Jesus yet nevertheless struggle. But the specific details of individuals whose faith did waver—Peter, Thomas, etc.—is also good to consider. As Jude penned those words, he no doubt recalled the mercy his Brother showed him earlier when Jude was not convinced of Jesus’s claims (John 7:1-5).

It is tempting to have hopes and good feelings rise and fall corresponding to how confident and sure we feel regarding our eternal security. But what matters far more than my faith itself is who my faith is in. Who or what is the object of my faith? To borrow an often-used example, if I have great faith that a rickety old chair on its last leg (no pun intended) will hold me up, that is no indicator of the strength of the chair itself. If the chair is weak, it will not hold me up when I sit in it, no matter how firm my conviction is that it would do otherwise. Conversely, if I tentatively sit in a solid and strong chair, the chair will hold me up, and no lack of courage on my part will make the chair collapse beneath me. So it is with Jesus. He is the strong and immovable object of our sometimes-flimsy faith.

Second, you are not the only Christian who has wrestled with this. Time and space don’t allow for all the examples to be given that could be given, but two come to mind. The great 19th century British pastor, Charles Spurgeon, struggled mightily with assurance of salvation at times. He had a large personality, and as high and lofty as his emotions could be, at other times he hit darkness. In his case it is likely that some physical conditions may have contributed to his emotional plights.

Another example is William Cowper, a contemporary and friend of John Newton (who wrote the hymn “Amazing Grace”). Cowper himself wrote some of our most beloved hymns that you’ll still find in a hymnal — songs such as “God Moves in a Mysterious Way,” “There Is a Fountain Filled with Blood,” and “O for a Closer Walk with God.” And yet he struggled mightily with depression that often centered on lacking assurance that he was truly saved. Not that he believed the sacrifice of Jesus was insufficient in general. He believed that anyone except for himself could have pardon full and free for their sin. At times he was overwhelmed with a sense that somehow he had “slipped through the cracks” of God’s grace and mercy.

The point of mentioning Spurgeon and Cowper as representative examples is to normalize this struggle. From biblical examples to great stalwarts of Christian history to contemporary saints, the wrestling for faith in the midst of doubt is nothing new. We are in good company. And we belong to a Savior who is as gentle as he is strong.

Dear Christian, cling tightly to the far tighter grip that God has on you. If you wonder what his disposition is towards you in your doubts, direct your gaze to the kind, gentle, and unwavering Jesus. In the same way that Edmund did not dare to look away from the face of Aslan as he stood accused by the White Witch, look to Jesus. Furthermore, allow the testimonies of other saints who have gone before—not to mention the saints that are in your life now—to be used by God to instruct and comfort you. We are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses (Heb 12:1) who have experienced the same doubts you and I face, and God intends these family and friends in the faith who have preceded us to bless us in our earthly pilgrimage.